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thanksgiving roast
November 20, 2018

President Trump tested out his tight five with some turkey-related stand-up comedy at the White House Tuesday.

During the annual turkey pardoning ceremony two days before Thanksgiving, Trump noted that the White House had conducted a Twitter poll asking which of two turkeys, Peas or Carrots, should be pardoned, which Trump assured everyone was a "fair and open election." He announced that Peas won but joked that Carrots was refusing to concede and was demanding a full recount, referencing the recent contested races in Georgia and Florida where Republicans ultimately prevailed. "We've come to a conclusion: Carrots, I'm sorry to tell you, the result did not change," Trump said. Unlike a real election, though, both Peas and Carrots received the full pardon anyway.

The turkeys, Trump explained, will be headed to Virginia Tech to be taken care of, but he then went after Democrats by joking, "Even though Peas and Carrots have received a presidential pardon, I have warned them that House Democrats are likely to issue them both subpoenas." He didn't stop there, adding, "I can't guarantee your pardons won't be enjoined by the 9th Circuit." Watch Trump's turkey pardoning turn into an unexpected roast of Democrats below. Brendan Morrow

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