Good week/bad week
Good week for:
Preventive policing, after a British police department asked citizens to file official reports of “noncrime hate incidents,” including any “offensive or insulting comments” that might lead to crimes.
Complex harmony, with the revelation by Beatles legend Sir Paul McCartney that he and John Lennon once masturbated together while yelling “Brigitte Bardot!” “It was a one-off,” McCartney said. “Or maybe it was like a two-off.”
Amazing coincidences, after novelist Nancy Crampton Brophy, 68, who wrote two novels about escaping awful husbands and an essay titled “How to murder your husband,” was charged in Portland, Ore., with murdering her husband.
Bad week for:
Immortality, after Kurt Pilgeram of California sued Alcor Life Extension Foundation for $1 million, saying that the company promised to cryogenically preserve his late father at death, but froze only his severed head. “There is little, if any, hope of bringing his head ‘back to life’ under the circumstances here,” Pilgeram said.
Domino’s, which promised 100 free pizzas a year for life to any Russian who tattooed the chain’s red-and-blue logo on a visible part of the body. So many Russians rushed out to get tattoos that Domino’s cut off the promotion after the first 350 customers.
Having to go, after a flushed diaper on an American Airlines flight caused all the plane’s toilets to overflow, forcing passengers to relieve themselves into plastic bags and bottles for nearly six hours. “What do you mean I have to pee in a bag?” a video shows one indignant passenger asking a flight attendant.